Published On: Thu, Apr 18th, 2013

Venezuelan Democracy is the Best

That Churchill guy once said ‘Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the rest’, he was totally right. All that voting, counting and debating can really slow the process of governance down.

If only someone could streamline the entire system to make it more efficient.

Venezuela just elected a new president on Sunday, after the death of Chavez left the country without a leader. The new Venezuelan government are trialling a new system that’s attempting to refine democracy to a simpler, more easily understood form.


Step 1: Decide on the new president before anyone else has a chance to vote

Let’s face it, 99% of the populace are idiots, they can’t be trusted to make the best decision. They may mistakenly vote in some corrupt bastard. The new guy may form an allegiance with the people who voted for him and may actually follow through on their crazy demands.

Before Chavez died he choose Nicolas Maduro as the man to reform the country.

Check out these fucktards, they’re campaigning for the wrong guy(Henrique Capriles Radonski).



Step 2: Hold an ‘Election’

Voting is such a pain in the ass, you have to take a day off work, you even have to think. Ballot papers are also pretty confusing, you may vote for the wrong guy.

Government only has legitimacy if the public think they elected one.

Let them vote then burn all the ballots without even counting them.

P.s. Don’t take pictures of this process, it would be crazy embarrassing if someone posted them online.







Step 3 : Re-educate any assholes who have misunderstood the process.








This guy stepped out of line during a parliamentary debate.




Nicolas Maduro received 50.8% of the vote

Henrique Capriles Radonski received 49%

8 dead so far in the ensuing riots